Seriously, click the link!
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Friday, January 24, 2014
On Miracles...
“There
are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a
miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
― Albert Einstein
― Albert Einstein
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Ouchie!
This is after a tech dug around in my arm for over five minutes, trying to get to my vein.
*sniffle*
Not to be a big baby, but this sucker hurts!
Warning: Idiots Rant
I cannot believe, BELIEVE, the hate and vitriol spewed by idiots.
It drives me batshit insane.
Who ever gave these people tongues so they could speak? And worse, fingers to type! UGH. The internet makes being a moron too easy. (There were some swear words in that sentence which I have removed).
UGH.
UGH.
UGH.
I can't believe I share a common ancestor with these people!!!
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Run In The RAIN!
A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in
Wal-Mart. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired,
freckle faced image of innocence.
It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout.. We all stood there, under the awning, just inside the door of the Wal-Mart.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day.
I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
Her little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, 'Mom let's run through the rain,' She said.
'What?' Mom asked.
'Let's run through the rain!' She repeated.
'No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,' Mom replied.
This young child waited a minute and repeated: 'Mom, let's run through the rain..'
'We'll get soaked if we do,' Mom said.
'No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning,' the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
'This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?'
'Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, ' If God can get us through this, He can get us through anything! ' '
The entire crowd stopped dead silent.. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain.. We all stood silently. No one left. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say.
Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
'Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just need washing,' Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They got soaked.
They were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories every day.
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.
If you've read this all and it's touched you... share it.
(copied off of facebook)
-------------------------------
This reminds me of when I was a "youngster" and I used to RUN IN THE RAIN. And mudslide. And waterslide. YES!
It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout.. We all stood there, under the awning, just inside the door of the Wal-Mart.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day.
I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
Her little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, 'Mom let's run through the rain,' She said.
'What?' Mom asked.
'Let's run through the rain!' She repeated.
'No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,' Mom replied.
This young child waited a minute and repeated: 'Mom, let's run through the rain..'
'We'll get soaked if we do,' Mom said.
'No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning,' the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
'This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?'
'Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, ' If God can get us through this, He can get us through anything! ' '
The entire crowd stopped dead silent.. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain.. We all stood silently. No one left. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say.
Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
'Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just need washing,' Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They got soaked.
They were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories every day.
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.
If you've read this all and it's touched you... share it.
(copied off of facebook)
-------------------------------
This reminds me of when I was a "youngster" and I used to RUN IN THE RAIN. And mudslide. And waterslide. YES!
Monday, January 20, 2014
Sometimes, happy stuff makes me mad...
Because I don't CHOOSE to be unhappy and depressed. It's almost entirely chemical.
Except for all the bad stuff happening right now and that's happened. That's situational. Environmental. And COMPLETELY not my fault. But I understand that it affects my mood, too.
BUT!
To make it seem like choosing to be happy is as simple as waking up in the morning and turning on a switch? Eat dirt.
Maybe for "normal" people...
Maybe.
Impossible Right Now
Impossible right now.
I usually go to bed angry at the world,
and
wake up with nightmares.
:(
One year and One Half.. 1 1/2
Over this past year and a half or so, seven of my friends and one cat have died.
It's fucking depressing.
It is also incredibly hard to deal with and handle. I barely know how to cope with Grandpa dying. How do I cope with the deaths of seven of my friends. Admittedly, some of them I was closer to than others. I have an insanely large friend's list (on facebook); at least I think so. I know people die. It's a part of living and life and all that jazz.
But SEVEN?! (Or eight if you count Crabbi, my cat, and I DO).
I didn't recover from my first friend fucking dying on me, and then another friend died... and then another... and then another...
and infinity...
So it's safe to say I'm a fairly big mess. (As if that wasn't evidenced by my first post about Grandpa).
I am unsure how to deal with so much GRIEF. I don't think I've gotten past the crying stage. It seems that's all I can do. All I've been doing for the last year and a half. UGH. Pretty much everything makes me cry.
...
...
...
It's fucking depressing.
It is also incredibly hard to deal with and handle. I barely know how to cope with Grandpa dying. How do I cope with the deaths of seven of my friends. Admittedly, some of them I was closer to than others. I have an insanely large friend's list (on facebook); at least I think so. I know people die. It's a part of living and life and all that jazz.
But SEVEN?! (Or eight if you count Crabbi, my cat, and I DO).
I didn't recover from my first friend fucking dying on me, and then another friend died... and then another... and then another...
and infinity...
So it's safe to say I'm a fairly big mess. (As if that wasn't evidenced by my first post about Grandpa).
I am unsure how to deal with so much GRIEF. I don't think I've gotten past the crying stage. It seems that's all I can do. All I've been doing for the last year and a half. UGH. Pretty much everything makes me cry.
...
...
...
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Tears :'(
Ok, so this might get long, and it might get emotional, but I'm finally putting it out here because it's probably important that I talk about it.
My Grandpa is dying. He has leukemia, which is a form of blood or bone marrow cancer. I know it's a broad term, very unspecific as to what type exactly it is- I'll be honest, I am NOT going to ask my Grandpa at this point exactly what kind of leukemia he has. I might, at some point, ask my Aunts or Uncles because I am innately curious, and this might be important someday for me to know. Maybe.
I fucking HATE cancer. It is an awful, horrible thing and I don't think it's fair that it's taking the people I love and care about away from me. And it makes me cry and cry and cry.
So, Grandpa has less than six months to live, at least that is what the doctors say, and he is under hospice care at his (new) home with Grandma, Gaile & Pat. He is, as far as I can tell, pretty comfortable physically, and very very loved.
I just don't know how to deal with the fact that Grandpa is going on a trip without me and I'll never get to see him again, or hear his voice, or hug him. It's killing me on the inside, and it HURTS.
I can't imagine how my Aunts and Uncles feel, or how Grandma feels. I'm afraid to ask. But I wish I could do a huge group hug, and never let go.
SO. *uncomfortable silence* If you wanted to know how I'm doing, that pretty much sums it up. As an aside, it should probably be noted that I am dealing with fairly debilitating depression and have been for a while. All I am good for now is hiding out in my little house and petting the cats. That's about it. Oh! And hugs. I'm still good for that. It should also be noted that I have been *trying* to still make stuff. It is a bright spot in a sea of darkness. I try to infuse each piece I make with some good, HAPPY, juju. Baby steps, right?
My Grandpa is dying. He has leukemia, which is a form of blood or bone marrow cancer. I know it's a broad term, very unspecific as to what type exactly it is- I'll be honest, I am NOT going to ask my Grandpa at this point exactly what kind of leukemia he has. I might, at some point, ask my Aunts or Uncles because I am innately curious, and this might be important someday for me to know. Maybe.
I fucking HATE cancer. It is an awful, horrible thing and I don't think it's fair that it's taking the people I love and care about away from me. And it makes me cry and cry and cry.
So, Grandpa has less than six months to live, at least that is what the doctors say, and he is under hospice care at his (new) home with Grandma, Gaile & Pat. He is, as far as I can tell, pretty comfortable physically, and very very loved.
I just don't know how to deal with the fact that Grandpa is going on a trip without me and I'll never get to see him again, or hear his voice, or hug him. It's killing me on the inside, and it HURTS.
I can't imagine how my Aunts and Uncles feel, or how Grandma feels. I'm afraid to ask. But I wish I could do a huge group hug, and never let go.
SO. *uncomfortable silence* If you wanted to know how I'm doing, that pretty much sums it up. As an aside, it should probably be noted that I am dealing with fairly debilitating depression and have been for a while. All I am good for now is hiding out in my little house and petting the cats. That's about it. Oh! And hugs. I'm still good for that. It should also be noted that I have been *trying* to still make stuff. It is a bright spot in a sea of darkness. I try to infuse each piece I make with some good, HAPPY, juju. Baby steps, right?
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